Finding Purpose in Mothering

There are days when I feel like its groundhog day ~ all over again. Feed, change diaper, play, coo, put to sleep, clean up, repeat. Even taking Amelia for a walk on those days feels more like a task than a pleasure. These days are often accompanied by daydreams of a bustling office, coffee and brainstorming with like-minded people, and collaboration over exciting projects; All of that would be so much more interesting to share with my husband over dinner than Amelia's bowel movements and play date stories. Sigh.
These are days when I am disconnected from my purpose as a mama. Being on purpose to me means having a mission; A mission that holds the umbrella over all of the other seemingly minute tasks and personally challenging moments. My mission: to consciously and joyfully raising a confident and spirited daughter. The conscious part means paying attention to even the small things, and actively choosing rather than being in default mode (i.e. my mom did it this way, why?) The joyful part is just as it seems. Being joyful when I am with my daughter. Allowing myself the experience of joy, rather than engaging my inner critic who says that I ought to be doing something more meaningful.
Today, I spent the morning in Porter Square Books (the best little local book store in the area!) browsing through books on baby sign language, nutrition and even spanish (ok, I got a bit carried away), as Amelia climbed on shelves and my legs. I thought to myself, "Wow. This is the most important, most challenging, and most exciting job I have ever had! How lucky am I?!" And then I stopped. Where did that thought come from? Yes, I love being Amelia's mama. Let me say that again. I LOVE being Amelia's mama. I just haven't LOVED the repetitious and house-bound, or neighbor-hood-bound, aspect of it all lately. Being a mama tries my patience and I often find myself zoned out in no wo-man's land while Amelia climbs and clatters(is that a word, or did I make that up?). And then I wake-up and realize that its Friday again, and what did I accomplish?
The truth is that I love what I am doing in my life and with my life. And I am not even speaking about the coaching part, which is truly a priviledge. I am speaking about raising a daughter. I am talking about how much I have grown as my husband and I have embraced choices that stretched us as parents, as individuals, and as a couple. This is the biggest challenge of my life - to raise a confident and spirited daughter. It matters. All of it matters.
So, to all of you mama's out there reading this, pop open a bottle of wine and celebrate our courageous and rewarding work!